The love poem I received on the 6th anniversary of the day we met!
Today is a special day for my husband and I. It is the anniversary of the day we met. Yes it is probably a rather childish anniversary, like a young couple in high school celebrating their three month-a-versary, however it’s the day my life changed far for the better and so it is important! It is twenty four years since that fateful night we met! I can hardly believe it! How the time has flown but the love has only grown!
I went out with “the girls” and we did the rounds of our usual bars, meeting up with “the boys” later in the night, my current boyfriend being one of those guys. We did not go out together but would meet up at some point during the evening and then he would return home with me. When we met people he knew he didn’t introduce me as his girlfriend. He kept his distance, he was wary. I know he had been hurt in a relationship with an older married woman, she had fallen pregnant and forced him to pay for a private abortion or she would tell her husband. I understand it must have been painful for him but he made me feel used and worthless. I felt so lonely and confused. Not what I needed after my bad experiences. I was heading down a bad road. I had been patient but was well and truly sick of being his booty call, ending each weekend night together only to be ignored all week long.
For Valentines Day he had bought me an album I wanted but gave it to me only if I gave him a few albums that I didn’t listen to in exchange. At a New Years party he had fallen ill, a virus and alcohol not mixing well. He went to bed and I could have stayed with our friends but instead I went to him and looked after him through the night, emptying his sick bucket and cooling his fever with a damp cloth. He never thanked me once. This night while sat at the bar I was really sick of it all, maybe he noticed my bad mood, he turned to me and said “you know I don’t know why you put up with me!” and in a “Eureka!” moment I replied “you know I don’t know why either, we are finished!”. I got up and went to the bathroom my friends following. I cried some and they said come on lets go have some fun.. so we left and headed for our favourite bar.
(On a side note: I was 17 at the time. I had been going out to bars with friends since I was 16. The establishments didn’t have a clue and back then if you looked 18 that was I.D. enough! The night I celebrated my 18 with a pub crawl party I am sure those bartenders and owners got a shock!)
Dancing and drinking I felt very happy. I felt I had done the right thing at last, it was better to be on my own than be made to feel so bad about myself. At closing time I did not want the night to end so I announced a party at my place open to anyone who wanted to come and then my friends and I piled into a taxi home. Lots of people turned up at my home soon after. There was only a jar of instant coffee granules to offer as a drink! I was literally penniless at the time, on the dole after my youth training scheme placement had fallen through. Receiving the young persons allowance (a reduced rate assuming the claimant to still be living at home) and not knowing any better that I could claim housing benefit and other monetary help I was barely able to cover costs. I had nothing left over for luxuries like food! My flat was a popular meeting point.. a place to gather without parents! One friend had stapled an envelope on the wall and visitors would drop their loose change into it, usually enough to keep the cheap coffee in stock and sometimes enough to buy packs of spaghetti to boil and eat plain. Friends that were also out of work and living in my building or the one across the road would often go shoplifting, returning with gifts like a block of cheese or a tin of beans. I couldn’t bring myself to fall as low as shoplifting but I was bloody glad they could and they were kind enough to share! The upside was I had never had a more attractive body! I was still curvy living off black coffee and eating rarely and badly!
With nothing much on offer a lot of people left fairly quickly but my little home was still packed. I didn’t have much in my flat but the things I owned I took care off. When my cousin puked over my second hand sofa I cried as I cleaned it up! It had a matching stool thing that looked like a huge blanket box, but didn’t open, half was a seat and in the other half was a table top. It was plush all the way around except for this square table top surface. The surprise was this was not only a table but a lamp! It was quirky and I loved it so to see someone sitting on top of it was very annoying! I stormed over through the people and demanded to know why they would sit there. “Well there’s no where else to sit” this guy tells me as he looks up at me! Oh my! He was handsome and I went a little gooey in my tummy! He was obviously tall, even while sitting I did not have far to look down from my 5ft stature, long dark wavy hair a nice smile and gorgeous icy blue eyes.
I looked around and replied that he was right! He shuffled forward a bit so he was sitting more carefully on the edge and I budged him over a little and sat down right next to him and that was that.. we started talking. We put on Helloween’s Keeper of the Seven Keys part two album and listened to all of it as we talked and talked. What a coincidence that he owned the part one album while I owned part two! I remember asking his age and he told me to guess.. twenty I said. You are three years out he replied.. “What, you’re seventeen like me?” I asked! He looked older! He was! He was twenty three, a month away from twenty four! I was only a few months into my seventeenth year! I was shocked at that but we got on so well it didn’t seem to matter. As more people headed home we finally got seats on the sofa. I was tired and wanted to sleep but my cousin and a dozen others had claimed my bedroom, this was the cannabis camp, and there were dopey sleeping people everywhere. We decided to share the sofa and so we lay and cuddled up together and soon we were kissing but he didn’t press for more. We fell asleep together but got a rude awakening sometime around four or five am as in walked my ex-boyfriend, noisy and very drunk, expecting to carry on as if nothing had happened! He stopped dead still and stared at us in complete disbelief. Then he turned and walked out! He would soon be telling everyone that I had cheated on him, how he had found me with another guy and that he had dumped me! I didn’t care, my reputation was lower than mud anyway, I knew the truth and so did my guy. He was in no rush to leave the next morning and we talked some more. The coffee was gone, my last tin of beans had been stolen. I had nothing to offer him so I didn’t understand why he was staying! Before he left he asked if he could meet me that night and I agreed.
Living in the same small town, with friends that linked our circles, frequenting the same bars yet we had never met. The chances of that first meeting were slim to none! He was not going to go to the party because he didn’t know me, he only went because a friend said he would be going too and then that friend left almost immediately, he lived nearby and he’d really only wanted the cheap ride home with so many sharing the taxi fee! When we sat talking he didn’t know it was my place at first. He has always told me how much he loves my smile and my eyes but he remembers my tight fitting black jeans the most from our first meeting! ( charming) That and how at ease he felt with me. He was usually self conscious, awkward with no confidence in himself. My friends told me I shouldn’t go out with him.. ” have you seen what he wears to work?” they laughed! He came from a traditional household, his mother bought his clothes for work and yes they were straight laced, grey puffa jacket and brown trousers with an ironed front crease you could cut an apple on! However I knew that the clothes do not make the man! I knew how my mother had dressed me in second hand old lady drab frumpy clothes. Never judge a book by it’s cover! Besides at the weekend he dressed like a rock star! When he returned home his mother asked where he had been, when he told her where he had stayed the night she said “Oh they are all nutters down there!”. The area I was living, my building in particular, was associated with undesirables!
So out I went to meet him for our first date.. he seemed a bit distant when we met up, he stayed by his friends and I stayed with mine. I thought he had changed his mind and was trying to avoid me. That I was going to be relegated back to booty call territory. I felt angry but he was simply unsure on what to do, how to take it forward. Would I want him hanging around with my friends, should he stay with his mates and wait for me to join him later, he didn’t want to mess things up. It didn’t seem like things were going to go well but the ice was broken when my friend, after having far too much to drink even though she knew she couldn’t handle it well, vomited all over the table, filling the central ashtray that she had hoped would contain all of the up-chucked volume. We worked together to get her sorted and back to my place. Getting her settled we retired to my bedroom and at that point knowing he liked me, knowing he seemed a nice guy but scared he might ask me for sex I threw myself at him! It was what I did. If he didn’t ask I didn’t have to say “NO”, If I didn’t have to say no I wouldn’t be raped and so giving it up in a pre-emptive strike meant it would be gentle and on my terms. That is how our relationship started out. It is not how it continued!
He stayed with me most of Sunday, popping to the nearest shop for supplies, birds eye chicken curry crispy pancakes and chocolate! He came to visit most nights, bringing groceries he would cook for me or we would cook together. I found work, long hours for little pay with a woman I had worked with on the newspaper on her new venture in childcare. I was always tired back then, my body coping with having so little food for months my metabolism trying to cope with me eating meals again. I would come home from work and sleep on the sofa. If he arrived while I was sleeping he would sit and wait for me to wake up. He cared for me and I really liked him. He seemed like a fairytale prince but I was still frightened, more of losing him now than being hurt.. Each night I would take his hand and lead him to the bedroom. After he would hold me and wait for me to fall asleep before returning home. One night as I took his hand he didn’t follow, I turned around to him and he pulled me back down onto the sofa. “You know we don’t have to do this every night” he said! I felt walls crack and begin to crumble inside. “I want to” I replied and I did. I wanted to give myself to him for the first time without the fear but after that it was only when we both wanted to. We declared our love soon after, in June he moved in with me and he proposed to me on my 18th birthday and married me on my 19th birthday!
So tonight we will celebrate our first night in each others arms by watching a movie, snuggled together on the sofa under my electric blanket, probably holding hands after eating a puff pastry chicken pie dinner and there had better be chocolate!
28 thoughts on “One Seven 0 Two One Nine Nine 0”
Thanks for sharing your beautiful story.
Thank you for reading it Irene.
Great story and reminds me of my own humble beginnings into the world of love and marriage.B
Thank you B. pleased you liked it.
I love hearing how couples met. And got engaged. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you, glad you enjoyed my post. i’m really enjoying your childhood stories, lots more to read though!
My husband and I have known each other for 18 years. We still acknowledge and celebrate the day we met. 😉 Happy meet-a-versary!!
Thank you. Great to know we are the only ones with a meet-a-versary! congratulations on 18 happy years, how long have you been a herd? lol
We’ve been married 15 years. Our oldest is 13. We completed our herd almost 10 years ago with our youngest.
aww ten years a herd, no there’s an anniversary to celebrate! heehee!
Thank you Charlene
Congratulations! I met my husband by sheer happenstance a fortnight before he was due to return to the UK for good (we were in Australia). He moved in that night, stayed in Australia, we bought a wedding ring the next week, but lived together for 27 years before getting married. We are celebrating our 37th anniversary in April and, like you, it’s been a journey of love. We have looked after each other as he got Ross River fever, a very debilitating illness caused by mosquitoes, and then I got fibromyalgia. But still together. Ain’t love grand!
it sure is grand! thank you for sharing this, amazing how events can take such unexpected but wonderful turns! So glad you have had each other to help get through such tough times. doesn’t the time fly by, when you stop to count the years it’s shocking! it’s my husbands parents 49th anniversay tomorrow! i had to laugh that you had the ring 27 years before using it! heehee!
Great love story! Happy anniversary of meeting!
Thank you Trisha
beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. enjoyed this – and laughed so much with “night I celebrated my 18 with a pub crawl party” ha ha
and congrats on your lasting love – and that engagement ring is one of the nicest I have seen – I like the assorted jewels better than some of the single stones – it is very artsy. 🙂
Thank you very much. i got some “looks” from the bartenders on my 18th, looking back i am just glad i hadn’t been found out and none of them got into trouble for serving me! We chose the ring together, i didn’t want a solitaire diamond. they are ceylon sapphires and diamonds. it is not a great photo to show the colours. i really must try to replace it with a better one. it is quite misshapen now. it’s had over 20years of being knocked about. i don’t wear rings anymore, the inflammation of my hands changes so much throughout the day that rings could go from painfully tight to being so loose they might drop off and be lost. i’ve had many comments over the years that it was “sweet” or “pretty”, my nana who loved her jewellery to be ostentatious called it a “nice little thing” so it’s lovely to have it genuinely admired! i liked how the four sapphires prophetically mirrored myself, hubby and our 2 children.
Shelley, What a wonderful story, I would celebrate each day as an anniversity and cherish each moment. We are thrown together for a reason. Sometimes the reasons make no sense, and we are miserable. Other time love blossoms, and we have a never ending story. Smiling it would appear you have a never ending story. Take care, Bill
Thank you Bill, i love it most because it’s just between us, celebrating in our own little way. no family feeling the need to buy cards or gifts, wasting their money on us is wrong because a gift is always appreciated but when you know that it is money they need and could be better spent i feel guilty! I love the thought of being a never ending story, how beautiful!
There’s nothing childish about celebrating love.
Thank for for following my blog and guiding me to yours.
Thank you Carol, glad you approve.
How romantic! Thanks for sharing your delightful tale of how you and your hubby came together. A love of a lifetime! I’m so happy to have found mine as well. Cheers! Gina
hello gina, so glad you have found your other half. I am sp pleased you enjoyed our story.
I’m happy for you two. It’s not easy to find the right person, congratuations and keep celebrating it! It is a wonderful thing!
Thank you, we have had our share of the less than wonderful but we always seem to come through still together and happy to be that way.
What a sweet, romantic story! Makes me want to walk around saying “awwwww” for a bit! Very sweet! So happy for you both!
heehee! well thank you morguie mouse